NLC - some aussie jokes for you!

[Andy G]

Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams & Elton John were walking over a bridge.
> Kylie trips, and gets her head jammed between the railings.
> With a couple of sideways glances, Robbie pulls down her knickers and
> shags her senseless.
> He stands back. 'Your turn,' he tells Elton.
> But Elton starts crying. 'What's up?' asks Robbie.
> Elton sobs, 'My head won't fit between the railings!'
>
> Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
> They can't spell beer.
>
> Why can't Aussie blokes take their girlfriends to the cricket?
> They eat all the grass.
>
> An Australian driving instructor is taking young Bruce out on a lesson
> in the Outback, when they find the road's blocked. The instructor says,
> 'Bruce, have you ever made a U-turn?'
> Bruce says, 'No, but I once made a ram's eyes water.'
>
> Why did the Aussie break his leg throwing a ball?
> He forgot it was still chained to his foot.
>
> What do you call an Australian with a sheep under one arm and a goat
> under the other?
> Bisexual.
>
> Two Australian lads are walking through the bush, when they come across
> a dingo licking its privates.
> After watching for a few moments, the first lad says, 'Just between you
> and me, I've always wanted to be able to do that.'
> The second lad says, 'I dunno, mate - he looks pretty vicious.'
>
> What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
> A waiter.
>
> A Jewish bloke, an Indian and an Australian are driving through the
> Outback, when their car breaks down.
> They knock on a farmer's door to see if he can give them beds for the
> night.
> The farmer says, 'I only have room for two. One of you will have to
> sleepin the barn.'
> The Jewish bloke says, 'OK, I'll do it.' But five minutes later there's
> a knock at the door, the Jewish bloke is back.
> He says, 'There's a pig in the barn, I can't sleep in there.'
> So the Indian says, 'OK, I'll go.' But five minutes later there's a
> knock at the door, the Indian is back.
> He says 'There's an un-sacred cow in the barn, I can't sleep in there.'
> So the Australian says, 'No worries mate, I'll go.'
> Five minutes later there's yet another knock at the door.
> It's the pig and cow.
>
> What do you call an Australian in a suit?
> The defendant.
>
> A British tourist's walking through the Outback, when he notices a
> farmer going at it with a sheep.
> The Brit calls out, 'You know mate, back home, we shear those!'
> The Aussie farmer looks around angrily and says, "I'm not bloody sharing
> with anyone!'

[gorrie]

lol... very good... Liked the 1st one best