Dizzy girlfriend quotes (NLC)

[mwmackenzie]

did they then have to climb in themselves to cross the motorway?

[gorrie]

Alison spotted this thread earlier and I have been warned that any quotes posted from me will result in sore gonads... Besides, she says that she only does silly quotes to wind me up

PS, is that object on the M8 not the Telly-Tubby tower?

[BiggestNizzy]

Are we talking about the big horn ? it's a piece of motorway "art" and it plays a tune and recites poetry

[mattg]

i heard it used to play tunes untill there was an accident involving someone who decided they would slow down to listen.

[jj]

Good one tonight

GF- Is that my water gauge? Points at water temp.
ME - Yes (surprised at her knowing what it is)
GF- Why does it stay there always? Even when my skooshers are empty it says its not?
ME- What? thats a temperature gauge
GF - Oh I thought it was for skooshers.
ME- Why would you want to know the temperature of the skoosher water?
GF - erm

[ceejam]

Not a girlfriend, or car related, but whilst watching a basketball game with some colleagues when in the US, one of the girls (blond, obviously) was getting a bit bored at how long the game was going on.

So anyway, during the 3rd 'period of play' she asks "How many quarters are there?"

Needless to say, she got the p155 ripped for the rest of the trip!

[mac]

I know someone who thought the cooling fan at the rolling road was powered by the car turning the rollers!

[cloggie]

Another one to add to the list, I was talking to my mate today about the daft things his girfriend had said and he was telling me that a few weeks back they were driving past one of those shops which make neon signs for shop windows when his girlfriend piped up and said oh look a pharmacy and a fish and chip shop in one
We were both p!ssing ourself until i reminded him of the time he got thrown out of Boots for asking the old lady behind the counter where they kept the cristal meth! he actually meant menthol crystals

[elise82]

No car or girlfriend content but still a funny quote.

While at Uni in Edinburgh I was walking past the Balmoral Hotel on Princes street and passed the Waverley steps that lead down to Waverley train station. The bus stop is there too and it was pretty busy so had to stop and squeeze past all the tourists.

On doing so I overhead a group of American tourists talking and one of them said "Gee, isn't it great that they built the castle so close to the train station!"

I couldn't stop smiling for ages.

[BiggestNizzy]

Again not a girlfriend quote, and at the risk of abuse (as going "off topic" is frowned apon;) )

A bloke I work with was into his bodybuilding and as part of his training he ate loads of bananas, one of the labourers ask's

"Graham* your always eating banana's do you buy them in bulk?"

Graham with a confused look on his face "No Asda"

worse thing is we all had to pause for a second to make sure it wasn't us being stupid !

*before anyone say's naything I am Graeme not Graham

[mainsy]

a while back watching gordon ramsay on the telly, my girlfriend looks on, horrifed as he slaughters his pigs he has been rearing.

she cant believe he is killing them to eat them. so i explain that all meats we eat are reared and then slaughtered.
now looking absolutely shocked she says she thought that the animals died from old age and then were ready for eating!!

[dirka-dirka]

quote whilst looking at aberdeen angus in a field......."ohhh look at that cows.............................................................i havnt had a bacon sandwich in ages"...........i married her 5 weeks later.......doh

[Ron]

Good one tonight

GF- Is that my water gauge? Points at water temp.
ME - Yes (surprised at her knowing what it is)
GF- Why does it stay there always? Even when my skooshers are empty it says its not?
ME- What? thats a temperature gauge
GF - Oh I thought it was for skooshers.
ME- Why would you want to know the temperature of the skoosher water?
GF - erm

Skooshers

Is that in the dictionary?

Ron

[graeme]

I thought everyone called them skooshers?

[Shug]

I thought everyone called them skooshers?

I prefer to call them nipples....