Scottish Elises

II am best man to my mate at his wedding in a couple of weeks time. Its now time to write the speech. I do have the usual selection of embarrassing stories etc. Not too worried about the whole public speaking aspect as i have done a fair bit of public speaking with up to 5000 people.

Just looking to drink from the fountain of knowledge that is SE. Any advice,tips on the speech, jokes that go down well etc would be welcome.

Scott

I copied bits from this site http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/?gclid= ... 1Qod9nVmrA
,full of good jokes some clean and some not so
clean
Hope this helps
Kinnon

What he said. The net is your friend! I was Toms best man and it went quite wel, atleast so im told.

top tip.....Try and get the speeches done and dusted before the meal!

Best of luck cheers Ed

My mate started with..."As best man it's my duty to do the speach - I've prepared a few lines and having snorted them feel much better"

mac wrote:My mate started with..."As best man it's my duty to do the speach - I've prepared a few lines and having snorted them feel much better"

last one i did i had video, photos - full multimedia - and a story about his whiter than white (to believe her father) bride juding a pissing contest off a 33rd floor balcony in Toronto

Even managed a "prefers" the tight brown over easy pink gag

I'm actually of the opposite opinion to Ed, if you're confident speaking in front of people. Of the 2 I've done, by far the most comfortable for me was the one after the dinner. Everyone is relaxed and ready to be entertained, whereas if you do it before, people are just sitting, waiting to get fed after a long day.

This is also bourne out by all the ones I videoed in a past life...

For me, by far the best part of the speech, after you've embarrased the hell out of the groom, is the bit where you switch tack and do the 'but seriously' bit. If it's timed well and touches a few key points, it can go far beyond cheesy and really mean something. I managed to have a bloke on the rowdy blokes table shed a few tears with one of mine, which was pretty heartwarming

/sentimental faction

Concur entirely. HOwever, I doubt Gambler has much input re. when his speech will be!

I've been to a few weddings where the 'snorted' line was used, once went down well, other time it went down like a porkchop at a barmitzvah - if its a risque opener, if it doesn't work you're fighting a sweaty clammy losing battle to raise the game again.

Other favourites have been, "Being asked to be the best man is like being asked to sleep with the queen - a fantastic honour but one you'd rather decline."

"It was a very emotional wedding .... even the cake was in teirs ...."

[insert groan here]

Very best of luck - just remember to know your audience. Also, remember you're likely to be sat beside the Groom's mum ...!

Thanks guys. Really appreciated.Had a good laugh reading that.

I have already rulled out starting with. Steven and i have been through a lot together. Thankfully not too many are here today.

And finishing with- Steven must have cancelled the carribean honeymoon. He told me he was going to bangor for a fortnight.( if you dont get it. Read it out loud)

I think the "Groom was born premature and acording to <bridegroom> nothing much has changed since...." is well worth working into the conversation - again it's either going to get a good laugh or a nervous cough from the room.


Mac

mac wrote:I think the "Groom was born premature and acording to <bridegroom> nothing much has changed since...." is well worth working into the conversation - again it's either going to get a good laugh or a nervous cough from the room.


Mac

Crikey - you must have heard that one at a 'civil partnership'

Start the speech thus:

Fornication! *cough* Excuse me. For 'n occasion such as this, it's customary for the best man to say a few words...

GregR wrote:

mac wrote:I think the "Groom was born premature and according to <bridegroom> nothing much has changed since...." is well worth working into the conversation - again it's either going to get a good laugh or a nervous cough from the room.


Mac

Crikey - you must have heard that one at a 'civil partnership'

Actually mate - it was used against me at my own wedding

I am best man for My bro's wedding in September, butt here are 2 of us... A couple of suggestion were:

Write 2 speached one after another.
Write one speach and read alternate words (Tricky)
Or my favourite, write one speech and read it at the same time...

Problem I have is that while I knew my brother until I left home, I rarely speak to him... also apart form about 5 familly and friends I won't know a soul there... could be interesting.