Put your feet up on the chaise long with a cold frosty one, or put the kettle on. In true Campbell Ford stylee, this may take a while…….
Friday:
And so it begins…. I was planning on leaving w**k around 3ish, but since it’s such a nice day, I decide to leave early and take the scenic and far more entertaining route south of Loch Ness on my way to meet with some of the group in Fort William. 2pm arrives, I lock up the office and set off.
The sun is beaming down and the forecast is good. Traffic is light, and what tourists there are appear to be in good cheer and are letting me past without delay. Let’s hope the weekend goes the same way.
I reach Fort William Morrisons bang on target time of 4.15pm. I look around for Kerry’s car as he said he would be there. No Exige, so I park up and look lost and forlorn when a blonde starts walking my way. This is turning into a very good day
To my surprise she starts talking to me and introduces herself as Mags
All the other guys are filling up with fuel. Stu arrives and so does Neil. Kenny and Jill arrive in their S2 Exige and we all head into Morrisons for nachos and ale.Kerry spots me as I’m on my way to top off the tank and he’s already loaded up and raring to go.
We gather the troops and we’re off to catch the Corran ferry. An uneventful 40mph run to the ferry in procession with the tourists coming out of Fort William.
We reach the ferry and we’re straight on. The comes the call from Tut… Craig had managed to get the clutch fitted and they left home around 2.30. They are now at Fort Bill but they will not make the ferry, so will take their chances on the twisties, avoiding the Corran ferry and try to reach Lochaline and the Mull ferry by it’s last sailing of 18.35…
There’s not much we can do to help, as they are already 25 minutes behind us and we have nearly an hour’s driving ahead to reach the ferry… is all hope lost? Read on…
We reach the other side, disembark and head off into the ever approaching sunset and the Mull ferry with it’s promise of midges and beer after checking in at the campsite.
A good run over, nice pace, dry roads and little traffic save the ferry traffic that must have just arrived at Lochaline from Mull.
The scenery is spectacular and all cars are on full song. Great
We are planning on meeting up with Simon, Scott and Dave on the island later on, as they are catching the Oban boat, but more on that later…
We arrive at the ferry terminal at Lochaline early, around 6ish, so have half an hour or so to wait which is fine, but the sweet scent of fish and chips coming from a nearby take away is too much for some and dinner comes early to the lucky ones. I snaffle some of Kerry’s cashews and that keeps me going
A few phone calls are made, and some banter ensues as we wait for 18.35 to swing round. At 18.30 the ferry comes into sight and reaches the dock. At the very same time we hear the unmistakeable sound of a v-tec decelerating into Lochaline ferry terminal… Guess who?
Craig and Tut emerge from their cars at the back of the grid, wipe the dead flies from their faces and announce that they have just gone the long way round (usually an hours drive) in 35 minutes…. How the bejeezus they did it, we could only surmise, but the look on Craig’s face said it all – they had been flying…At least they made it, which was just in the nick of time as we boarded the ferry for Mull…
A short hop from the other side is the campsite, around 15 minutes by road, and we check in and set up camp at the top of the hill. From the photos you can see that although the stony beach is quite a distance away, this has to be the best pitch as it’s away from (most) of the regular tourists and has the very best views in the house, over looking the water to the mainland and Ben Nevis beyond.
As the sun begins to settle behind us, we shut up shop and head for the local tavern for dinner. It’s 8pm – hope they are still serving food…
The pub is as we remember it, but no band set up in the corner this time. First round ordered, we go about ordering the food, and sit at a couple of tables that have become recently vacant. Much banter ensues and the hunt for Shug’s photograph gets off to a slow start. After more drinks and food, the call goes out to Simon to check on progress. No network signal, so we can only hope at this point that they made the ferry at Oban. After more beers and drams, we hear the telltale sound of a Larini in tune with an Eliseparts exhaust buzzing the centre of Craignure. They have arrived.
Just before last order is called, I get a call from Dave who says they are at the campsite and to order 2 pints of lager and a vodka and Coke. I assume it’s for the three of them and we get them in. 3 minutes later 3 Elises pull up outside, 3 tired bodies limp out and enter the pub for 3 drinks and 3 cheers
The group is complete.
Kerry, Neil & Mags, Kenny & Jill, Tut and Craig and I all hit the hay around 1am, but the die-hard youngsters head off with Stu in search of the beach. The full bottle of whisky goes with them – looks like they are set for the long haul.
Saturday – 6am
The rosy eared fingers of dawn dance on my flysheet and I awake to the sound of the neighbours mooing their early morning chorus. Thanks guys, I hope to repay you in kind someday by setting you on a plate, medium rare, with some fresh horseradish…
I stir out of my 5 season cocoon around 6.30 to find that Mags is awake and enjoying the sunrise in the porch of her tent.
I head off for a great hot power shower in the nearby facilities (remember this is a 5 star campsite, oh yes) and freshen up for the start of the day. A half litre of Tropicana later I’m ready for (almost) anything. Everyone else starts to stir, and for the next hour or 2 we prepare breakfasts (much bacon rolls, and Tut’s bacon, eggs, sausages and of course, his beloved tattie scones). Tut’s engine had managed to cook and egg in it’s tin the day before, plus it had melted his pouch of lard. The cold night air however had solidified the lard to make sure our bacon never tasted so good.
Honda heat had also popped his wine cork, but we didn’t have that for breakfast
Breakfast done, we pack up and head off for a loop of the island.
I lead and take the group due south with the intention of finding the west coast road we used last time that Kerry showed us. Remembering my promise of no goat tracks, I am wary of making sure I pick the correct road. Reassuringly, there appears to be only one road heading north back up the West coast. Let’s hope its okay.
Once in the groove, the pace picks up a little and we slowly disband into 2 groups, and this is pretty much the way for the rest of the weekend. Traffic is light enough, but what cars there are in both directions pull over gladly for us and most give pleasant waves and smiles.
We wind our way round the southern tip and find the right hand turn that will take us up to Salen. The first group pulls onto the road and wait for the B team to catch up and make sure they don’t miss the junction. They arrive a few seconds later, and after a couple of photos, we head off…
Bugger – goat track…… This wasn’t in the brochure….
With very little alternative we head off, but pace is slow, around 40-50 tuts due in the main to the poor conditions of the road, the gravel traps on some corners where resurfacing has (allegedly) been taking place and of course the sheep and giant supersized West coast Highland cows (what do they feed these buggers??). It’s a bumpy old journey and there is moderate traffic so I keep the pace low. Around the coastal sections there are happy campers and walkers, so again a need to keep the speeds low otherwise we will surely antagonise someone and we’ll be greeted with a roadblock somewhere, ala TDE2001 on Skye
An uneventful run in the main, plenty of twisty bits and we all make it to the other end relatively unscathed. I had a moment where a hump back section got the car bouncing and I nose dived off a particularly sever yump, managing to catch both front corners of the clam. Battle scars 1 & 2 methinks.
We round a few corners and on one straight are met with a farmer and his sheep. The sheep are down a lane but coming this way. He waves a few cars on but stops the rest.
Craig and I have pushed on ahead and we wait at the next junction for the rest to catch up. We’ve come across a chunk of traffic and with the sheep jumping on Dave and Kerry’s cars, it’s split the group fairly wide. Fortunately there is no damage to either car. Craig and I wait to regroup and head off on the north west section – here’s hoping it isn’t like the last one.
It is like the last one, but we push on, getting used to the humps and bumps now. The driving is spirited, but like I said not fast, and the traffic we meet both ways, is pulling over happily and waving and smiling in the main. This is what makes the next event so annoying…
We come round a corner to be met with a road block. Some farmer has put his quad and a pick-up across the road. Now in essence this is actually fine, as they are moving cattle down the road. We gently pull up in a line and stop, only for me to be met with a shower of abuse from said farm hand about how someone had phoned ahead about us and we were tearing up the island with our driving. Didn’t we know that there is livestock and there are tourists on these roads (WTF are we if not tourists??), and would we be able to stop if we met any? Of course I am on my best behaviour and answer that we are more than capable of stopping and in fact our speeds were not high because of the nature of the road conditions, the traffic and the somewhat fragile nature of our mode of transport.
Unperterbed however he presses on with his abuse so I ignore him and pop in a Depeche Mode minidisk… Craig however has other plans and takes the chap (quite rightly) to task over his unsolicited attack.
The guy reckons to start taking down numbers and names at which point he is asked by Tut or Craig (I wasn’t sure at this point as the Aberdonian warriors were in full swing) if he is the Police… we avoid asking him if his quad bike is licensed for the road (it clearly isn’t and we are on Her Majesty’s Highway) and Craig manages to talk him down (well done that man) . The traffic clears and everyone else stuck in the jam smiles and waves at us, especially the couple in the concours condition Hillman Imp.We move steadily on, pace as before, but a little more weary from the onslaught….
The road opens up a bit through the forests in the north west, and there is one sublime section of hairpins in which a few of us have great fun lighting up the inside rear on purpose
Eventually we blip down into Tobermory (Scott is convinced it is Balamory) and head for the sea front. We miss the car park at the entrance to the town, and take a Monte Carlo style convoy cruise down the main street (honest it was a mistake, we weren’t posing). We eventually get back to the main car park, park up and make for a morning coffee, admiring the ragtop Aston DB7 parked outside the art gallery.
Finding no suitable coffee shop that doesn’t have a mile long queue, we decide to head for the one just out of town. Upon closer inspection of the car park however, we notice that there are 2 restaurants and a pub 100 yds from the cars… We order food and drinks, then sit outside avoiding the wasps until the food comes. We then eat and avoid more wasps…
Lunched up we head out of Tobermory, Kerry leading, to head for the ferry back to the mainland. The roads are fairly open on the route back south, the pace is fun and the views are breathtaking.
Once in the line for the ferry the cold hard realisation sets in. We took too long over lunch and the next ferry is an hour and 50 minutes away. It’s CalMac lunchtime all over the world…. In order to save time I fire up the vodafone enabled laptop and we plot suggested alternative routes and log onto the CalMac website to check timings of ferries. The decision is made to avoid the Mallaig ferry to Armadale on Skye, opting instead for the road trek to Kyle and the Skye Bridge, via Invergarry. This will put us on the island at 6pm instead of having to catch the 6pm ferry which would see us docking at 7pm. So we save an hour by being able to drive another 40 miles – now this is Elise ownership
Once on the ferry, Stu realises that in a fit of madness he threw everything he had in his pockets in the bin when on Mull. Thinking it was only till receipts he realises as he’s going up the ramp that it also included his return ferry ticket… needless to say, the attendant didn’t believe, but she only charged him for his car as a concession, as she was sure she had seen him the day before (like you could miss his S160!).
Many admiring glances from the wrinklies coach tour and the other passengers on board. We disembark and Kerry takes the lead once more to take us to the Corran ferry.
We wplit into 2 groups again and the pace is good. Fast roads, little traffic and soon we are at the junction near Strontian. Despite the fact that we (Kerry, Tut, Craig, Kenny & Jill and I) wait for the other group, we don’t see them for ages… as soon as we do, we head off again and begin to touch Mach 10 on these fast flowing bends. Kenny trails off behind a little as we approach light-speed, entirely understandable as Jill was not too well the previous day. The 4 of us head off to the Corran ferry with the tarmac bubbling behind us.
Regrouped on the ferry, we say our goodbyes to Kenny and Jill who have to head home to house-sit. We leave the ferry and head for Fort William, then Invergarry and the Skye bridge beyond.
A simply sublime run follows, everything working in perfect harmony, the lead group consisting of Kerry, Tut, Craig and me and we are on song. Fleets of cars sweep by on bends as the S_E method of passing takes over. Up the hill from Invergarry and back down the other side, it comes together in a truly excellent drive.
Clearly however, it wasn’t up to Aberdeen standards and as we head out onto the main road, I can see Tut is getting itchy to really push the v-tec. A few straights pass, then a few curves and with the average speed hovering around a respectable 80 tuts, the Hondameister makes his move, followed (very) closely by Craig. Kerry and I stick to our own guns however, around 80 tuts, which is enough after today’s driving... A chance for a look back and contemplation on the day thus far
Around the next few sweeps and Tut and Craig are but a distant pair of Azure blue specks – clearly they are in the ‘zone’
We catch them up around Eilean Donan castle whilst toying with a Vectra who is blindly confident of taking us on (the fool) and then the 4 of us proceed to make our swift way to Kyle and on to the bridge. The Cuillins look magnificent in all their silhouetted glory as the sun begins to descend and guides us ever West…
We rendezvous in Broadford, and collect supplies and fuel as the rest of the group arrives. A few scantily clad local girls eye us (well, our cars) up and make the usual comments, none being taken on as they are clearly below any sensible age that would leave us on the respectable side of the law…. Supplies loaded, Tut decides that what we really need is some easily got firewood for later on. I head next door to the filling station again and collect 3 disposable barbecues and a bag of kindling. Unbeknown to me, Kerry has also collected some bbq’s and Tut has… well Tut has ventured on to a beach and collected the largest piece of Y shaped driftwood I have ever seen. “It’s dry though, should burn well, I’ll just put it in the pax seat…â€
makes a change! 
