New Elise owner - Laser Blue S2 111S

[robin]

You're hurt that a talking lion won't send his cub to your homeland? I would be pretty fcuk off if some talking lion came here and ate everybody. I say, keep your fcuk lions.

[pete]

You're hurt that a talking lion won't send his cub to your homeland? I would be pretty fcuk off if some talking lion came here and ate everybody. I say, keep your fcuk lions.

In the year 2011-2012 (the latest year for which we have records) the number of people eaten by talking lions was once again zero. Indeed the number of people eaten by lions of any description, talking or otherwise, in South Ayrshire was also zero.
The fear you have of simban ingestion is probably due to a combination of your proximity to Edinburgh Zoo and perhaps memories of poems revolving around the unfortunate demise of youths following an inability to follow the directions of their guardians vis a vis keeping away from lions.

Rest assured these are works of fiction and have no basis in reality. (Beyond the setup, there are zoos, young people and lions, although very few children have nurses these days.)

With reference to Shug's post, ultimately it's the subtext I can't bear.

[Shug]

Welcome to random-ass Friday folks!

[BiggestNizzy]

What he should have said was beware of stampeding wildebeest.

[pete]

What he should have said was beware of stampeding wildebeest.

The folk of South Ayrshire see Kilmarnock very much much as the big smoke. They can be spotted wandering around the town, marveling, open mouthed*, at the tall buildings and the electric lights. And getting their tractors stuck in the multi-storey. (East Ayrshire council ran a big advertising campaign in the South Ayrshire Post last year to try and educate the folk of South Ayrshire that while they were welcome in the "Big Toon" it would be easier if they came by quad bike rather in the tractor. And they were to leave the shotgun at home along with the sheepdog. They are encouraged to wear a flat cap though, so that city folk can make allowances, and help them out when they are trying to cross the road etc. There will be a photo somewhere of Shug in his "Off to the Big Smoke" attire.)

The original post that caused all the confusion is more than likely down to confusion on Shug's part, the only time he has seen a lion was in the Kilmarnock Odeon (at the "talkies") and it is entirely possible that he doesn't know that they can't talk! As an aside, when the Odeon showed its first 3D film they offered special briefings for Ayr folk to try and reduce cleaning costs as a result of them soiling the seats.

pete

*That's not entirely true, the "open-mouthed astonishment" look is often down to most of them only being able to breathe through their mouths.

[pete]

[Shug]

You certainly do have a unique quality of wit and raconteur...

[BiggestNizzy]

You certainly do have a unique quality of wit and raconteur...

He's from Crosshouse, I blame Ayr dumping Cumnock on us.