Clarkie,
Some Frolic do’s and don’ts,
Don’t buy an endurance tank and run out of fuel on the first day.
Do leave in plenty of time to catch the ferry/tunnel.
Don’t drink too much on the ferry and fail a breathalyser test.
Do look the correct way when joining a main road.
Do carry coloured electrical insulating tape if your car has stripes.
Don’t say to your wife that you’re having a brilliant holiday when she wants to go home on the first day.
Do buy a Sanef-tag, as fumbling for change while the others disappear into the distance is not fun.
Do take part in the Télépéage Grand Prix.
Do drop a gear and floor it at every tunnel.
Don’t pax with a good driver and then think you can do it too, before ending up in the kitty litter.
Don’t take tips from the French Stig.
Don’t overfill your car with oil.
Do change your brake pads at least twice.
Do look in your rear view mirror for someone coming up for a fly-by at 100+ tuts.
Do leave the party if someone arrives wearing a gimp mask.
Don’t jump out of the pax seat at 50+ tuts if the car is on fire.
Don’t get caught speeding.
Do have the days destination entered in your Sat-Nav.
Don’t knock down any cockerels.
Do be prepared for your car to be wearing some stickers in the morning.
Don’t reverse into a bollard.
Don’t take the wrong turning if leading.
Don’t sit at the back of the convoy as you will get stressed getting dropped and trying to catch up each time.
Do get drunk and participate in the party games.
Do be prepared for not having enough sleep each night.
Don’t come off the track on the sighting laps.
Do wish that you’re driving a 211/311 when it’s sunny and you’re on track.
Don’t laugh if you see a 211/311 when on the motorway in the rain.
Do post plenty of pictures and videos for those that cannot make it.
Don’t say that you have traction control on.
Do say that you have all the safety aids turned off.
Do say that you are a racing driver if anyone asks.
Don’t wash your car as you can pretend it’s a race car since it’s covered in rubber.
Don’t get scalped by a S1 if driving a V6.
Do ask if anyone has taken a Jack.
Don’t get drunk, have a hangover and instantly regret it at the track briefing.
Do bring some duct tape, but hope that you will never need it.
Do be organised and be ready to drive to the next location.
Do be the last group to leave the restaurant or bar each night.
Don’t leave your wallet, phone or car key behind at any time.
Don’t drink warm drinks, especially from a Coca-Cola or Irn-Bru bottle in the passenger footwell of someone’s car.
Don’t get a puncture.
Don’t fly your wife over with the promise of a champagne tour and tasting.
Do propose so you can go on another Frolic in the future disguised as a romantic gesture. (This could be a problem if you’re already married though.)
Don’t calculate the mpg.
Don’t count up overall costs.
Do remember the Top Gear rules if someone else breaks down.
Do take the Alps route home.
Do enjoy yourself.
Do arrange for another holiday immediately after the trip.
You will love it.
Steve.
Ps, the names have been left out to save embarrassment and there are plenty more that could be added.