[These are generally entries straight from my journal app for iPhone, "Day One"]
Tuesday 11th Aug
It's my wee girl's birthday and she's on hols at Center Parcs with her Mum, bro and other family so I'm visiting en route south. Frolic starts early for me
Wednesday 12th
Next leg, to Harlow. Base camp for 2 nights, working in London on Thursday then at Carlimits North Weald for "a Walshy Day" on Friday. Brilliant m-way drive down in the Evora. Impressive fuel efficiency on cruise control too.
Thursday 13th
Mark, Les and Stephen join me at Premier Inn bar ahead of Walshy Day. All have driven a variety of routes from Scotland and all made it safely. Coho restaurant nearby for excellent dinner. Not the Premier Inn Beefeater, for sure...
Friday 14th Aug
Brilliant Carlimits event at North Weald. Learned much about what the Evora can do. And how to heel & toe! Brake - clutch - select - blip - clutch.
Simples. Worried about Chunnel issues so on the road at 4pm sharp.
Easy drive through M25, Dartford, M2, A2 and a short back road. Bit of a Q to check in but bigger delays to departures
Kenny and Lesley have done well to retain a sense of humour in their new (damp) Zenos. At least it offered time to give the Evora a wash with my new collapsible bucket 
Got rumbled by Dave, Mike and Simon who arrived at the Eurotunnel terminal shortly ahead of me. And departed well ahead of the rest of us. Apart from Donald who arrived last and left almost first 
Update 4am Saturday (!) - made it onto Shuttle before midnight, 2.5 hrs behind plan, arrived Calais 2am local, easy 100 mile blast down A26 to IBIS Budget St Quentin. So relieved to find a familiar room. Team Dodgy are still in a bar somewhere. Good luck with that fellas.
Saturday 15th Aug
St Quentin to Geneva. Lie in until 11am. The Bar Room Boys appear eventually. Journey starts wet, much to Team Zenos' core members' disgust (Kenny and Lesley). Lesley sensibly opts to join me as First Officer in the Evora. Autoroute to Langres poses no problems other than spray for poor Kenny in waterproofs and crash lid
I get a row from filling station for going for coffee before paying for fuel. Sticker on window and everything. Je suis desolee, mademoiselle.
After Langres the road gets interesting. Albeit still mostly wet. Satnav does us proud, gets us into the Jura mountains and we enjoy the run over to St Genis Pouilly, with scenic descent overlooking Lake Geneva. Satnav throws one wobble a few miles from the hotel but no harm done. We arrive to a warm welcome from Kevin and Gordon (advance party) who have got the beers in for us. Result. Team Dinner for 10 of us. Feels like we are actually on Frolic now.
Sunday 16th
This is the big one. Some alpine passes planned. Still damp, but improves as we leave the Jura mountains. Seeking fuel for the Zenos which is on fumes. Sorted and underway. Next Satnav disaster lands us in a tight chateau car park. Maneouvring to let some other lost souls get back out, I strike a steel bollard while reversing. Crash. Tinkle. Sweary words.
Mostly cosmetic and only pride really hurt so we press on. Slowly. Like treacle in the traffic. Coffee stop turns into lunch stop by Lake Annecy. We're still a long way from our first Col. Eventually pick up signs for Col du Galibier, accessed via the lower Col de Telegraphe. Cold up here! Team Dodgy (Simon & Beata, Mike, Dave and Donald) are actually not very far ahead of us and we catch them as they prepare to leave their lunch stop on the Col. Gordon flashes through too.
Flowing road to reach Col du Galibier. Then many hairpins - fun until we reach camper van tastic traffic. Then I notice smoke billowing around the engine compartment of the Evora, and Kenny flashing his lights furiously at me. Nowhere to pull in (rock face one side, sheer drop the other). Eventually find a gravel refuge, leap out the car and am relieved to smell hot coolant not smoke. Open up the boot to let the fumes clear and start wondering what has gone wrong. First call to Moncrieff Mission Control for remote diagnostic support, meanwhile Kenny diagnoses a blown fuse for one radiator relay, and one stolen fuse later, he urges me out onto the road ahead of an even slower camper van. If I can keep the speed up and the revs down, Mother Nature will do the rest.
Not the best start and not even reached a track yet!
Not keen to linger at the Col du Galibier summit as a result. And not alone in that either..."Are we good to go, it's feckin freezing up here..."
Descent is a mini-Stelvio, then following a monster traffic jam we've elected to just hit the autoroutes and take a big southerly horseshoe route to Orange after Gap. No Col d'Izouard at Briancon either, sadly. We all cheer up when the sun comes out. And I get even more cheery when I see nearly 35mpg returned despite a 90mph blast to Orange! Albeit also perplexed by loss of interior fan and thus air con (quel fromage). We beat Team Mikey, though, which was nice. Albeit they picked a fun road from Gap to Orange...next time...
Arrived in the IBIS Orange Centre car park to a warm reception from Team Zandy and others, who were already well into the beers and wines. In the car park. Late slow food but the promise of a (slight) lie-in for tomorrow.
Monday 17th
Official plan said Sanary-sur-Mer at 08.45 but I spent the morning searching out a replacement indicator bulb for my lacerated light unit, and some spare mini-fuses. Eventually struck gold at Deschanels (Orange's answer to Partco) and discovered that the rescue fuse on the Col yesterday had been stolen from the interior fan not the 12v power supply. The Evora manual's fuse box schematic is wrong. You couldn't make it up.
Anyway, eventually set off down the Autoroute du Soleil. Hang on a minute, I've been on this before...albeit coming north on the crazy horseshoe route last night!
Practised some French to order lunch with Team Zenos, then soon time to get up to Circuit de Castellet (Paul Ricard to most). Words fail me, what an experience. Intimidating but mostly wide open so I eventually found a groove. And had a spin. Literally
Spent all afternoon letting people by but enjoyed the clear track that opened out as a result, and was mightily impressed by the Evora. Last lap was the best - quit while ahead! 16.5 mpg, hadn't noticed I'd used ¾ tank…finished on fumes and had to top up at the daylight robbery on-site fuel station.
Dinner in Le Castellet was brilliant. Ice cream was even better.
And very pleasant blast back to base afterwards too. Would get to know Autoroute du Soleil rather well as the week wore on...
Tuesday 18th
"Rest" day. And Mont Ventoux. Ali, Steve and Gary have declared an ascent of this famous mountain (if you're a road cyclist anyway). Washed the car courtesy of Europcar rental's hose, then set off with Neil, Stu, Mike and Kevin to drive up to meet the nutters for lunch. Kathy rode pax with me in air con comfort
Let someone else lead so inevitably they took the wrong route up. Still an amazing drive, though. 
Swarms of cyclists. Those descending were generally overtaking cars…crikey. Fab lunch at cafe with waiter with slightly off-beam sense of humour. Formule du Jour for me. Goats cheese, pork casserole then tarte au pommes. Parfait!
Buzzed by a glider, a fighter jet and some paragliders whilst up there. Mental. Incredible views all around too.
En route down Ali suffered a puncture so we, his support crew, attended and wedged him and bike frame into Stu's Exige S. We got some looks…
Cold beers, dip in the pool then fine pizza “Norvege” in town. Bed by midnight - Le Luc beckons tomorrow.
Wednesday 19th
Le Luc today. A much smaller, tighter track than Paul Ricard, with a lot less runoff too
Nearly as far away as well. Involved a 6.30am departure, 90mph interstellar cruise on A7 (Autoroute du bl**dy Soleil again), and refuelling before joining the track. Getting the hang of the Evora now, including a tweak to tyre pressures to dial out some understeer (make the rear stiffer, so grips less relative to the front). A top tip from good old Lawrence. The tyres go off pretty quickly, though - sheer heat, it was 32 degs for most of the day. And the brakes aren't far behind…but Race Engineer Craig says drilling the dust from the disc holes will help! Thoroughly enjoyed the track…albeit the Elise would be perfect for it…and had just one “off” which was merely running a bit wide into dust after the tight last corner.Neil discovers you can put too much oil in an Exige...
Decide to explore Gorges du Verson (another recommendation from HRH Scotty). Only an hour north of Le Luc, and perhaps an hour to drive through.
Arriving around 7pm meant quiet roads too, all the better to enjoy the twists and turns. Well worth the trip, and in fact there are a few other roads to explore round about…for another time.
Found a lovely restaurant at a camp site overlooking Lac de Sainte Croixe, sampled their special (baked Camembert and salad) with a cheeky Panaché (shandy!). Fantastic. Really wish Lisa and the kids were here. Future destination, though…they even have Wigwams!
Spotted an opportunity for a quick snap of Mt Ventoux in the sunset too...
The drive back to Orange thankfully avoided most of the A7, and crossed some fast backroads. Arrived at hotel to find no-one around. Couldn't raise anybody so sensibly headed to bed, the more to enjoy a final "day of rest" on Thursday.
Thursday 20th
Had a proper lie in, washed the car, enjoyed cracking authentic lunch in town with Neil, then shopped for presents for the family in the afternoon. Back to the pool for a beer, a quick splash, some gassing with Ali & Gary, then it was time to turn taxi driver. Herr Moncrieff had finally got on a plane and would need collecting from Marseille airport.
And guess what. Autoroute du f*cking Soleil again. Albeit not for as far. But after baggage delays, we return to meet the crew in the town square only to find that no-one is serving food. Craig had eaten en route, but guess who had not. After giving up in disgust (even McD's was closed) I crash out. Well it's another big day Friday anyway, so no harm done.
Friday 21st
Ledenon. A mere 40 min drive away, near Avignon. Fabulous technical circuit. Very tight, hard on the car, but great fun. No offs today
Rolling roadblock again though, obviously. Very careful with cool down procedures. Drove back with Craig via Chateauneuf-du-pape vineyards and town. His favourite wine apparently. Quick tasting then purchase of half case for Lisa and I Caption competitions:
Manage a bit of track photography today too. Nothing special but here are some highlights.
(Ali just too fast for me...
)Queue of traffic to leave the A7 at Orange, though, and the Evora temp spikes off the scale for the second time in the trip. We get out to some back roads to try to cool it off but can't really get enough pace up so limp into the hotel car park for diagnostics. Craig earns his taxi ride by diagnosing, er, a blown fuse. This time we don't steal any but put a replacement in and just have to hope the run home tomorrow goes smoothly...
Treat the buffet from Alain, hotel owner, as a starter, then we head out for one final dinner. Apparently I demolish a bottle of white to myself and nobody believes I'll be up and about for the early departure.
Another caption competition...
Saturday 22nd
Well I am up and about. I even fit in a final run around the 6k loop I devised out beyond the town boundary. Perfect finish. Mike is hopping, keen to get going, so about 30 mins or so behind plan we get rolling northwards. Lyon slow but the rest of the French Autoroute network does us proud. 596 miles and 35.9mpg later, we'd covered it at an average 80-90 and reached Calais in time for the advance crew to catch their Shuttles. Craig elects to join Dave to help pilot him back to Blantyre (good luck with that) and I roll off for the IBIS Budget Calais.
Lotus royalty waves off...
Calais looks like a warzone again...70 years on?...with all the fencing, razor wire and armed police presence to combat the "migrant crisis". Feels like Belfast in the late 80s.
Sunday 23rd
Well rested after mediocre meal in Gourmand d'Europe. Good old IBIS Budget for sleeping though. Huge police presence in makeshift compound nearby.
6.30am start on a beautiful morning. Cooler air though…much further north. Squeaked into 7.20 train - half an hour early
. 
So left Folkestone almost before we departed (IYSWIM)…at 7.30am local time. Stopped at Peterborough Services around 9.30. Coffee, and picked up M&S lunch to go. Nearly left my wallet in the toilets! Easy run up M11, A1, A1M. Pee break at Ferrybridge Services, then a bit slow near Leeds. Lunch on the run just before Scotch Corner, then lovely B6075 through Piercebridge. A68 a bit of a conga, but sliced through fairly well after further comfort break after Lanchester. Met a bus and tractor near the border. Sloooowwwww. Then found A68 closed for repair south of Jedburgh. Onto lovely A6088 as a diversion, but messing with the 400 mile tank challenge! All good though - re-fuelled at Jedburgh (405 miles on a tank, 50 litres exactly to fill) and put the hammer down. Home at 16.30. About 470 miles, 9 hours less 1hr for breaks. Not bad going.
An incredible experience. Great company (without exception), great tracks, great food (mostly), good wine, good beer, great hotels. Evora is the vehicle of choice - so versatile. Brilliant cruiser, nimble backroad weapon, capable track toy, and just an all round fabulous place to be. I am SO privileged to have been able to buy it and take it on this trip.
And now for a long awaited Chinese takeaway…
French Frolic in numbers…
Total trip - 3,381 miles
Fuel stops - 14
Litres used - 496
Fuel cost - ~£515
Total trip average mpg - 30.6
Track average mpg - 14.67
Best spot average mpg - 40 (50-75mph)
Best trip average mpg - 36 (Calais to home)
Blown fuses - 2
Blown bulbs - 1
Broken lights - 1
Beers - ~12
Bottles of wine - ~6
Bottles of water - lots!
Hotels - 5
Hangovers - none!!
Km run - 18
Full album here - https://picasaweb.google.com/1157832811 ... directlink
